The Ideal Parent

"It takes a village to raise a child."  Student success relies on teachers, the student and the parent(s) or guardian.  It is possible for a student to achieve success without good teachers or parents, but it becomes significantly more difficult.  The title of this post is likely to get some parents feeling defensive; that is not the goal; it wasn't the goal in the previous posts about the ideal teacher and ideal student.  I doubt many people have formally taken a course on how to be a parent because it's not offered in schools.  I have had parents asking about what to do with their kids in parent-teacher interviews.  If there is something that parents can do to make their kids lives better, isn't that a good thing?  The goal of the ideal parent is not to become the teacher so let's discuss this.

This is important so it's worth re-iterating:  proper sleep is vital to learning well.  Parents need to make sure that kids get the proper amount of sleep and get to school on time.  Unfortunately, it's not surprising to have to wake sleeping students up during class; it's not a good feeling to be embarrassed in class.  If parents are working hard to support their family, doesn't it make sense to also support their learning.  Some parents may not be able to physically take their kids to school, but they should have some way to make sure their kids get to school on time.  Showing up on time makes the student feel that education is important, that the parent cares about education and that it is important to be responsible.

Nutrition is also an important component to learning well.  It starts with a good breakfast.  It doesn't have to be a big production, but it should certainly avoid high sugar content.  The high cost of living and low wages in some areas may make proper nutrition difficult for some parents.  Many schools are able to provide breakfast and/or lunch for students but parents have to ask.  It may be uncomfortable for parents to ask for help, but if it's a choice between a parent's pride and a child's education, I think it should be an easy choice to make.

The ideal parent is not a helicopter parent.  It may seem that being deeply involved in a child's life is a good thing but it can cause problems.  The first is loss of independence which means a loss of responsibility; this can lead to difficulties as an adult where they may feel overwhelmed when taking responsibility.  In the extreme where a parent prevents the child from making mistakes; this can create anxieties for the child.  Quoting Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus, "Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy"; it's how we grow and learn.

Homework is something for students to complete.  Parents can help by checking if there is homework and that progress is being made.  Under no circumstances should anybody else complete the homework; this will delay student learning and hamper future learning.  Parents can help by explaining concepts (if they have the background), explaining where to get additional resources, booking extra time with teachers or getting tutors that know how to teach (schools may have free peer tutoring).

Parents want to provide tools for our kids to succeed in education and life such as cellphones and computers.  How do they ensure that technology is used properly?  It has been shown that lack of technology is detrimental to education, but unchecked use of technology can be just as bad.  This is a battle for teachers and it is most likely a battle for parents.  There is no one solution since technology is always evolving.  Is it ever too late to start controlling technology use?  It certainly is easier to manage when they start using technology.  Provided that living conditions allow, technology should be kept in the open areas of the house and not in the bedrooms.  Another option is to limit screen-time by setting hours.  If parents are tech savvy enough, parental controls can be added to cellphones, computers and/or routers; it's still a good idea to physically check once in a while to see that the controls haven't been circumvented.

Lastly, parents who want everything for their children may over-schedule their children.  Children need downtime, this means no screen-time.  Downtime gives children the time to reflect on what's been happening in their life and they may even ask parents questions on how to handle things.  Downtime also gives children time to relax and de-stress.  After-school activities that appear fun such as dance, sports or music is not considered downtime because it can cause stress.  How often do people say "I need some me time" and why do they say this?

Parents and teachers may or may not see education the same way; but if they do, education will be easier for the student to accept.  The only way to find or confirm a common view is by communication.  Hopefully, reading these posts and links will allow both parties to articulate their views in a productive manner.  Being a parent is a big responsibility.  Some parents may need to do more and some may need to do less to find the happy medium.  If we can get children to be more responsible so that parent may have less responsibility, it would be time well spent.  And THAT concludes this post!